Back in 2006, I endeavored upon what I thought to be my biggest adventure yet. No, not starting college, but creating my very first Facebook profile. Hyperboles aside, back then you could only sign onto Facebook if you had an “.edu” email; this was long before every parent, grandparent, long lost uncle, or Russian bot had an account.
A little over a decade later, we live in a far different world. Nearly every one of the high school students I work with is connected to multiple social media platforms—Snapchat, Insta, “Finsta”, Facebook (if they’re not trying to avoid their mom)—all constantly at their fingertips through their small, convenient smartphone. In fact, Pew Research Center reports that as of March 2018, 95% of teenagers have access to a smartphone, which they are using to access their top three favorite social media sites: Youtube, Instagram, and Snapchat.
I don’t remember when I got my first iPhone, but I do know it came far later than the awkwardness of my pre-teen years. And it wasn’t until I read Benjamin Conlon’s article that I realized what a gift my generation, and every generation before that, had been given by growing up in a smartphone-less world.
Conlon is a public school teacher who wrote a straightforward, yet insightful comparison of what it was like to be a 7th grader in 2008 versus a 7th grader in 2018.
Although I strongly recommend you read it for yourself, one of the points that struck me on a deeply logical and emotional level is the fact that smartphones take away kids’ escape, their fresh start, their ability to leave whatever happened that day in the past and move forward with relative ease. As Conlon illustrates, in 2008 a 7th grader could have easily shirked off an embarrassing slip or trip or awkward moment because there was no digital record of it. In 2018, however, with 95% of their peers armed with iPhones, there is little that goes unnoticed or unshared.
“He gets the video uploaded to Snapchat first. No time for a caption. It speaks for itself. He has it up on Instagram seconds later. By then, the ‘likes’ are already coming in. Dopamine floods into Mark’s brain. There’s a comment on Instagram already! “What a loser!” it says. Mark gives the comment a ‘like’. Best to keep the audience happy.”
Conlon, Benjamin. “Middle School Misfortunes Then and Now, One Teacher’s Take”.
I am on all the same social media platforms as the middle schoolers and high schoolers I work with, and I’m guilty some days of scrolling through the apps just as often as they do, but I can say with certainty that I have never lived in fear of someone posting something of me intended to degrade my reputation or self-image. Most times, I’m the one sharing my awkward childhood photos that now I can look back on and laugh.
But 13 year old Lara did not have the same confidence or self-awareness. Of the moments I can remember, and there were plenty, 13 year old Lara would have been mortified if someone captured one of my awkward moments on video and posted it somewhere where anyone in the world could watch it over and over again, leaving comments that only magnify my preteen shame and embarrassment.
Conlon’s article put things into perspective giving us a glimpse of the social pressure and anxiety kids today are dealing with. After his article, I can empathize with why the younger generations continue to be more depressed, more anxious, and more lonely. When my friends and I remember middle school, we joke about how we were lucky to survive the pubescent awkwardness. We would have been ill-equipped for the emotional and psychological stress kids manage today.
So what’s the solution?
Clearly, we can keep smartphones out of kids’ hands as long as possible, but inevitably every child will become an adult that will have to have a smartphone for work or safety or both. The biggest takeaway is that we must create a safe space, a tech free space in our day and in our home to allow ourselves to escape, disconnect, and unwind. We must remind ourselves and our kids that life goes on when we’re off the phone.